I feel so fucking miserable. Not because of where i am in life but my dad.

He has sacrificed so much for me.

He could of been a professional athlete, yet. He stayed for my mom and me.

What’d she do? Go and ruin everything, cheated on him, started doing drugs and making everything worse since my dad was to pay child suport. Basically funding her habbit.

I only got 6 years to be a kid.

To live with my dad and not worry, not worry what will happen when i wake up. What i’ll eat for dinner, if i’ll eat, how to protect my brothers and sister.

In those 6 years i saw my dad the happiest he’s been, i’ve seen him fall in love. only to be heartbroken.

He really loved this woman Angie, i don’t know her last name, maybe it’s changed but this was the only woman my dad truly loved after my mom. In fact it was his 2nd marriage, and last. My dad kind of blames my older brother for the downfall but i don’t know exactly…

For a minute there i saw him really happy with this woman lisa, who turned out to be my best friends mom, but things just didnt work out as planned.

And his last girlfriend,

I’m unsire but it seems as if he grew to love her too, just to watch her leave for no apparent reason, she claims it was to be closer to family. I say it’s cause my dad didn’t want to marry her, for fear of her leaving. The only reason it seems my dad didn’t go was because of me.

Now i see him going out every weekend, getting drunk and asking me to come pick him up, then i see him on online dating sites and it’s sadening.

Especially to think that i am the cause of this.

I hate seeing cropped out pictures.

Can i just be young again when i remember my dad in happier times.